Scorpio Man: The Scared Little Bug of the Zodiac

*We’re all special fruit loops sharing the same cereal box. This is for fun, not to bash any particular zodiac sign. *

On a quick internet search you can easily turn up dozens of articles citing Scorpio as the meanest, badest, badass of the zodiac. With warnings of dire gloom they implore us to fear the scorpion like death itself. But who wrote most of these articles? A Scorpio? I wouldn’t put it past them to intentionally fill our hearts, and the internet, with the mortal dread of them. After all, they’re really just scared little bugs afraid that if we caught a good glimpse of that shiny black—and easily breakable—shell, we’d squish them like the bugs they are and then scrape them off the bottom of our shoes like used gum.

The Wonderland Tarot

Which leads me to the real reason why Scorpio is not so tough, or tough at all for that matter.

They’re passive-aggressive.

Unable to grow the balls of steel needed to face life head-on, they turn to the psychosis of champions; passive-aggressive manipulation.

Scared to death of getting squished, Scorpio studies you, taking note of your every weakness. The real reason why they want to know so much about you? So they can use it against you later, of course. Scorpio is so scared they won’t even wait for you to strike first. They attack at the slightest perceived slight instead.

Like they think they might like you. Now that deserves to be punished.

Or worse yet, they think they might be falling for you. How dare you do that to them!


If you think a Scorpio might be in love with you, run away. Run far, far away. Change your name, your hair color, and get some colored contacts while you’re at it. Plastic surgery would come in handy. Love scares that little insectoid more than life itself, and that means you are about to find yourself on the receiving end of one of the most vicious fights of your life. Or for your life, depending on how much they love you. The more they love you, the worse it will be. Heaven forbid they should see you as their soulmate. You might as well just dig a hole for yourself six foot deep and jump in. It’ll be easier, and far less painful.

Don’t be mistaken. Just because they’re capable, and often quite willing to get you fired from your job, estranged from your family, addicted to anti-depressants, and planning your own funeral, doesn’t make them alpha males, or tough, or courageous, or strong.

Maybe next time you come across one in their natural habitat—try the cemetery at night, like a vampire—you should just scoop it in a cup , and put it in an aquarium where nothing will ever harm it again, since that’s what they really want from you. Just make sure you have a really secure top on their enclosure, because despite how safe and comfortable you make them, rest assured, if they should escape in the middle of the night, they’re coming for you…


The Rape of Persephone, and Why it’s Important

Featured in the Photo: Timeless Tales of Gods and Heroes
By Edith Hamilton

Most Greco-Roman myths changed over time, and the abduction of Persephone is no exception. In one version she is captured by Hades and forced into the Underworld, in another she goes willingly down, fully aware of her destiny as queen of the undead. Both these versions are historically valid, but in this age of uber-feminism the more politically correct telling of this myth is gaining popularity.

I’d like to make a case for Persephone’s abduction and subsequent abuse. I believe it’s important not to lose this part of the myth.

In the abusive version of this story, Persephone is set up by Zeus. He entices her with a beautiful flower. Once she is alone and unprotected, Hades opens the ground and carries her crying into the Underworld on his chariot. There, she is raped and forced to marry him.

While the natural reaction to this is disgust, and rightly so, to dismiss it entirely leaves some gaps in the story arc.  The abused, Persephone, immersed in darkness, is remade. She is no two dimensional queen, born already knowing exactly who she is.

No. She starts off innocent, naive, and vulnerable.

Like the fool card in the tarot. Like the rest of us.

Persephone remained in captivity for one year. Meanwhile, her mother, Demeter, had turned the world into a winter wonderland. Zeus, unable to dissuade the grieving Demeter finally gave in and sent his messenger, Hermes, to collect Persephone from Hades. In the Underworld, Hermes finds Persephone on a throne next to her husband, crouched away from him. She hadn’t found her place or her power there. When she was given the news that she could return to her mother, she couldn’t wait to leave.

Hades, in one last power play, banked on her compassionate nature. He asked her not to be ashamed of him, because he couldn’t help being what he was. He also told her to remember that she was now a queen, and a powerful one at that. Talking her into eating a pomegranate seed, he ensured that she’d have to return to him.

Yeah, he used her AGAIN. Yet he’d also told her who she really was. This pivotal moment allows her to come into alignment with her fate. The source of her power wasn’t some mysterious kind of magic she was born with. It was in her victimhood.

Since she’d eaten the seed, she would have to spend half the year in the Underworld and half the year above with her mother. This makes her the only goddess who is both alive and dead. Because of this she was, and still is one of the most beloved archetypes in the Greco-Roman pantheon. She is the one who understands. She suffered. She had to find herself. And when she did she radically altered both herself and her husband in the process. No longer able to victimize her, Hades was left with no choice but to respect her for the queen she now is.

Take away the pain and the anguish, and you take away the core of her power. When we paint Persephone as a fully formed queen from the get-go we make her two dimensional, and thereby someone we can’t relate to, because like it or not, we all follow the fool’s quest through the tarot, starting at card 0.


Eastern Orthodoxy and Divinzation

Most Protestant Christians balk heavily at the Eastern Orthodox belief in

Theosis (the act of becoming one with God), but really, do they have to?


Theosis, or divinization—making something divine–isn’t a far cry from the Marriage Supper of the Lamb, which many evangelical fundamentalists talk about with a great deal of fervor. They can’t wait for this blessed event (oh, boy can’t they!) First there’s the Rapture, Armageddon, Judgement, and then the pinnacle of their existence; their Marriage to Christ himself.

But what is a marriage, but the union of two into one?



Seems to me, in the end, both parties are saying the same thing.

If Theosis and The Wedding are the same, then what about the belief in other world religions that we are one with God already, because we came from him, and we will return to him.

I know the arguments here—mostly from evangelicals, and I’ve heard them all before, ad nauseam—that for starters, unlike Christians, who see us humans as irrevocably separate from God, Buddhists and Hindus believe we are already one with him(and her) and that our separation is an illusion in our heads.

I know I can take ideas most people see as completely opposing and link them together. It comes from being both left and right brained at the same time, BUT, I still think all these supposedly conflicting views are saying the SAME thing, just in different ways.

For example, if you see yourself as already one with God, and every time you have a thought that conflicts with that oneness you quickly remind yourself it’s an illusion, wouldn’t you, over time become more God-like? More loving, less judgmental, more in charge of yourself, your thoughts and actions toward others?

I think you would.

In fact, it might be psychologically healthier, and more productive than calling yourself a big fat sinner doomed and deserving of hell because you had the audacity to be born. Hmmm…. that just doesn’t sound productive to me. It’s like being on a diet and saying, I won’t eat the cookie over and over, until you eat the cookie because it’s all you can think about. Wouldn’t it be better to say something like, “I love carrots, so I’m going to eat one,” and then keep saying it until you love carrots so much you can’t think about cookies anymore?

Yeah, I think that sounds better.

Just my opinion, but it seems most of the world’s religions are getting to the same point, in their own way, kinda like the proverb about three blind men petting an elephant and trying to describe what animal it is. They all say something different, and yet they are all petting an elephant none the less.

Could it be that we are all touching God

Collective Reading-Jupiter Retrograde April 2019


Retrogrades can bring chaos into our daily lives but they’re really there to help us regain vision with clarity and foresight. Jupiter retrograde is no exception. Since Jupiter brings us abundance we will feel the influence of the loss of this energy both at work and in relationships. We’ll be with this retrograde all the way from April 10th to August 11th, so let’s take a look at where we’re at as we head into this time of resettling and regaining purpose in our lives. Think of it as a time to plan for and foster future abundance!



Three of Pentacles reminds us to take the time to listen. Whether we’re working on a group project at school, a joint collaboration at work, or on our relationships, it’s definitely time to take a breath, really listen to what others are saying with a clear head and as little personal bias as possible (it’s hard, I know. We all do it…) Also be sure to listen to your inner voice and to express yourself to others with clarity. You too deserve to be heard, even over the bustle of your own life.

10 of Cups reversed. There are no bad cards in the tarot, and this card is one of supreme emotional abundance; that it’s in reverse is actually less troublesome than if it were not there at all! The ten of Cups is reminding us that we have emotional fulfillment already within, so there is no need to look outside of ourselves to people or circumstances for peace, joy, or comfort of the heart. Ask Spirit and she will give to you abundantly (retrograde or not) the love and fullness that you need.

Queen of Pentacles reminds us of steady earth-motion. She is no ordinary woman but a master of her earth-bound abode. As she looks intently at her coin she reminds us to precede into this retrograde with planning and forethought. Don’t overspend, be aware that finances could possibly be down during this time. Keep an eye on the accounts, so to speak. But she also reminds us of our domestic responsibilities. Even if you’re a student, a manly man, or a single person you still have a home, a car, a cat… Take care of what is in your sphere and respect the abundance that is already in your life, whether it be a mansion or a pet hamster!

I also pulled some Vintage Wisdom Oracle cards to go with the tarot:


As is usually the case, they reinforce and confirm what we find in the other cards. Move forward with this retrograde without fear, be grateful and have joy for all the wonderful things you already have (and for who you are). This is a time for gaining momentum that will transmute your energy into abundance after this retrograde which has been written in the stars by the hand of the Divine himself.

Peace, love, and namaste,


They’re So Worried

They’re so worried, the corporate church, the logicians, the scientific minds who believe only in what’s been tested and approved of.

And we know why.

Wicca, witchcraft, mysticism, and paganism are on the rise, and the Emperor energy (archetype) thinks we have gone insane.


He pops his pills to get happy, fuels himself with caffeine for yet another day in a cubicle (noticeably falling apart at the seams). We watch, shrugging because he won’t listen to a thing we say.

We’re the ones who have become unhinged, he tells us…

The reality of it all is that we as a culture have become so disconnected from the cycles of nature that it’s destroying our minds and our bodies. More than that, it’s killing our relationships too. As humans we’re no longer interdependent. I don’t walk downtown, buy from the baker whom I know, the butcher who’s my cousin, the pharmacist who’s engaged to my neighbor… No. I go out and shuffle with the herd in a sea of faces. At the customer service counter someone is yelling at the employee who’s just following the protocol his boss gave him.

Everyone thinks they’re right.

Everyone thinks they’re better.

(But not really, no, because it’s their disconnect that makes them so miserable.)

That’s why Witchcraft, Paganism, and Mysticism are becoming increasingly popular choices. We’re tired. Tired of feeling sick and out of tune with the reality that we are—believe it or not—eternal, spiritual beings meant for more than vanilla lattes with chocolate sprinkles.

We see. We listen. We have eyes to see and ears to hear. We watch the moon in her phases, the sun as he changes his track across the sky. We note the tides and feel Mother Earth gearing for spring, or falling asleep for winter. Not because we’re unhinged, but because we know. We know that there is more to life than Net Flicks and pizza. We can feel it, and we’re happier and healthier for it too.

For many of us, our families watch with guarded eyes, as do our neighbors and religious leaders. They’re so sick and unhappy themselves, but they don’t have the eyes to see what’s wrong. They’re in so deep they’re not even looking for a cure. Well, they are, that’s why they pop antidepressants and whine for a better day. But all the complaining just keeps them stuck, the pills became addictive, the caffeine gives them insomnia, and then they get some more pills to ‘’cure’’ it.

Meanwhile, we feel for spring coming, and pray that those we love find their better way. It doesn’t have to be our way. We’re not interested in taking away their free will after all, just a way that brings them back into alignment with their authentic selves.

The Byzantine Tarot Review


I was really looking forward to getting this deck because I’m a big fan of iconography. Unfortunately, it looks like it had a rough time getting here:


But okay, it’s just the little book, which I’ll probably only use for a week or two at best… A few of the cards weren’t cut very well though.


I got past that because I really did want all that beautiful artwork right under my fingers.




It looks better in the photos. The images on the card faces aren’t as crisp as they should be. The card stock is really just too thick and that makes for some difficult shuffling, especially if you’re shuffling challenged (like I am).

I know, I know, all that sounds pretty negative. I’ve been working with this deck for a few weeks and it does have its good sides. It’s easy to read and doesn’t deviate too far from the comfort of the Rider-Waite system. I wouldn’t say it’s going to usurp my favorite deck (The Mucha Tarot) but it’s not going into that box in my attic anytime soon either. The Byzantine Tarot would be great for readings with clients from a Catholic background, especially if they really want a reading but feel like they might be doing something wrong.

The producers of this deck stated they tried not too make it overly Christian, BUT, I mean, come on, it’s a deck full of early church iconography, so it can’t really be helped…


So, there it is; the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s by no means perfect but if you’re drawn to iconography, or your Catholic and feel more centered around biblical images then this would be a great match for you.

Happy reading, everyone.




A Quick General Reading: Joy Abounds



“Plant seeds of happiness, hope, success, and love; it will all come back to you in abundance. This is the law of nature.” ― Steve Maraboli

I don’t usually do general readings but I felt the urge to pull a few cards today for anyone who might wander on over here and gain some insight from it.

…Well, all I can say is that we’re having a good day out there. Looks like things have taken an upswing. Relations with family and friends (for some it may be coworkers) are going well and there is a sense of comradery. On a more personal note, you may be feeling in your element, self-aware and in control of finances, relationships, and the inner self.

Yay you! Get together with some loved ones, dance, sing, and enjoy life. It’s definitely the time for it!