Scorpio Man: The Scared Little Bug of the Zodiac

*We’re all special fruit loops sharing the same cereal box. This is for fun, not to bash any particular zodiac sign. *

On a quick internet search you can easily turn up dozens of articles citing Scorpio as the meanest, badest, badass of the zodiac. With warnings of dire gloom they implore us to fear the scorpion like death itself. But who wrote most of these articles? A Scorpio? I wouldn’t put it past them to intentionally fill our hearts, and the internet, with the mortal dread of them. After all, they’re really just scared little bugs afraid that if we caught a good glimpse of that shiny black—and easily breakable—shell, we’d squish them like the bugs they are and then scrape them off the bottom of our shoes like used gum.

The Wonderland Tarot

Which leads me to the real reason why Scorpio is not so tough, or tough at all for that matter.

They’re passive-aggressive.

Unable to grow the balls of steel needed to face life head-on, they turn to the psychosis of champions; passive-aggressive manipulation.

Scared to death of getting squished, Scorpio studies you, taking note of your every weakness. The real reason why they want to know so much about you? So they can use it against you later, of course. Scorpio is so scared they won’t even wait for you to strike first. They attack at the slightest perceived slight instead.

Like they think they might like you. Now that deserves to be punished.

Or worse yet, they think they might be falling for you. How dare you do that to them!


If you think a Scorpio might be in love with you, run away. Run far, far away. Change your name, your hair color, and get some colored contacts while you’re at it. Plastic surgery would come in handy. Love scares that little insectoid more than life itself, and that means you are about to find yourself on the receiving end of one of the most vicious fights of your life. Or for your life, depending on how much they love you. The more they love you, the worse it will be. Heaven forbid they should see you as their soulmate. You might as well just dig a hole for yourself six foot deep and jump in. It’ll be easier, and far less painful.

Don’t be mistaken. Just because they’re capable, and often quite willing to get you fired from your job, estranged from your family, addicted to anti-depressants, and planning your own funeral, doesn’t make them alpha males, or tough, or courageous, or strong.

Maybe next time you come across one in their natural habitat—try the cemetery at night, like a vampire—you should just scoop it in a cup , and put it in an aquarium where nothing will ever harm it again, since that’s what they really want from you. Just make sure you have a really secure top on their enclosure, because despite how safe and comfortable you make them, rest assured, if they should escape in the middle of the night, they’re coming for you…


Astrology and the Mystic


Photos by me.

My son and I were waiting around for him to be released to go home after outpatient surgery. His girlfriend at the time was really into astrology, and to pass the time he brought up an app she’d recommended. We’d intended on entertaining each other, maybe get a laugh or two out of it, but then something strange happened.

I won’t try and duplicate his horoscope for the day because I’m a big picture thinker and can’t remember it word for word anyway, but I do remember that we both stopped laughing and everything got really quiet. It had pretty much summed up this semi-momentous moment of his life. His first surgery. No, not in that exact way, but it did describe something important happening and that it would likely involve his health. (*Note: I don’t read the daily horoscope, nor do I recommend it, since there’s far more involved in a person’s fate than their sun sign, which is what you find in the daily apps. Only vaguely do I recommend following retrogrades or transits either, as I firmly believe fate is actually in the hands of God, and that his will transcends astrology.)

But that was a coincidence, right? I mean, come on, astrology? I would have thought so too, only next we went on to read a basic description of my personality type based on my sun sign. I’m a Libra. By nature we tend to be diplomatic, scholarly, dressed well, and generally… clears throat… beautiful. (Picture a good-looking librarian type—the sexy librarian.) Did I mention we’re also modest? (Just kidding. We’re not, trust me.)

What we do best though, is relate to people. I began to think over my experiences that day at the hospital, realizing that even though the staff was there to relate to us, I’d spent most of that day trying to relate to them. For the crabby nurse I put on a smile and a joke. The anesthesiologist with the big smile got a good laugh from me when he told a joke, and the tired orderly was thoroughly thanked for his efforts.

That was when I began to wonder if there might be something to this. I’d always been curious about astrology but dismissed it  because logic dictated that it just wasn’t worth exploring. Then again, I’ve always liked a good mystery. I set out to gain a better understanding. That was a year ago, and now I’m writing this post saying I believe there is something to be learned from the heavens.

How do I justify my acceptance of Christ as my savior, and astrology at the same time?

First I want to say that it’s not my duty to justify my beliefs in the first place, nor is it my job to tell others how to believe. I leave that stuff up to God, he knows better than I do. However, for educational purposes, I will go into what I have learned and how I believe. Feel free, of course to ask Him yourself. If you listen He will tell you what He wants from you.

That out of the way, I have to say that I’ve come to the point where I believe that if there’s any truth to be found in the stars then it’s there because God created it that way. Unless you’re a Gnostic Christian, you must believe that God made the heavens and the earth, so either what the sky has to tell us is complete gibberish, or he designed it to tell us things, like what our strengths and weaknesses are, and what his plan is for our time here in our incarnate form. Life is like school. We’re on this planet to learn, and when—if—we finish learning we will be as the resurrected Christ was; in a new body, back to do amazing things. Don’t believe all that hype about sitting on clouds strumming harps, BTW, because it’s not going to be like that. God will have jobs for each of us. Really amazing jobs, like what the angels do.

Think about this, who could possibly have assembled the stars at the time of creation, in just such a way as to mark the moment of your birth? Could it be the same one who marked the birth of the Christ in the same way? No one else could have designed it like that. The stars and planets don’t belong to Satan. He didn’t design them to mark our birth and life. God did that.


Astrology is mentioned in the bible too. I’m not going to extrapolate on this, but here are some verses to ponder.

Genesis 1

14 Then God said, “Let there be lights in the firmament of the heavens to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs and seasons, and for days and years; 15 and let them be for lights in the firmament of the heavens to give light on the earth”; and it was so. 16 Then God made two great lights: the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night. He made the stars also. 17 God set them in the firmament of the heavens to give light on the earth, 18 and to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness. And God saw that it was good. 19 So the evening and the morning were the fourth day.

Genesis 37

 And he dreamed yet another dream, and told it to his brethren, and said, Behold, I have dreamed a dream; and, behold, the sun and the moon and the eleven stars made obeisance to me.

 Job 9:

 8 He alone stretches out the heavens and treads on the waves of the sea. 9 He is the Maker of the Bear and Orion, the Pleiades and the constellations of the South.

 Job 38

31 Canst thou bind the sweet influences of Pleiades, or loose the bands of Orion? 32 Canst thou bring forth Mazzaroth in his season? or canst thou guide Arcturus with his sons?33 Knowest thou the ordinances of heaven? canst thou set the dominion thereof in the earth?

 Amos 5

 Seek him that maketh the seven stars and Orion, and turneth the shadow of death into the morning, and maketh the day dark with night: that calleth for the waters of the sea, and poureth them out upon the face of the earth: The Lord is his name:

 Isaiah 13

10 For the stars of heaven and the constellations thereof shall not give their light: the sun shall be darkened in his going forth, and the moon shall not cause her light to shine.

 Isaiah 40

 26 Lift up your eyes on high, and behold who hath created these things, that bringeth out their host by number: he calleth them all by names by the greatness of his might, for that he is strong in power; not one faileth.

Deuteronomy 4

 19 And lest thou lift up thine eyes unto heaven, and when thou seest the sun, and the moon, and the stars, even all the host of heaven, shouldest be driven to worship them, and serve them, which the LORD thy God hath divided unto all nations under the whole heaven.

 (Word of warning, if you feel inclined to worship the moon, sun, or anything else rotating around up there, check your head-space; they are not God.)

 Deuteronomy 10

 Behold, the heaven and the heaven of heavens is the Lord’s thy God, the earth also, with all that therein is.

 Psalm 19 

 1The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork. Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto night sheweth knowledge. There is no speech nor language, where their voice is not heard. Their line is gone out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world. In them hath he set a tabernacle for the sun,Which is as a bridegroom coming out of his chamber, and rejoiceth as a strong man to run a race. His going forth is from the end of the heaven, and his circuit unto the ends of it: and there is nothing hid from the heat thereof.

 Psalms 8

 When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained; What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him?

Psalms 81

 Blow up the trumpet in the new moon, in the time appointed, on our solemn feast day.

Matthew 2

 Saying, Where is he that is born King of the Jews? for we have seen his star in the east, and are come to worship him.

Matthew 24

 29 Immediately after the tribulation of those days shall the sun be darkened, and the moon shall not give her light, and the stars shall fall from heaven, and the powers of the heavens shall be shaken: 30 And then shall appear the sign of the Son of man in heaven: and then shall all the tribes of the earth mourn, and they shall see the Son of man coming in the clouds of heaven with power and great glory.

Luke 21

 25 And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations, with perplexity; the sea and the waves roaring;

1 Corinthians

 41 There is one glory of the sun, and another glory of the moon, and another glory of the stars: for one star differeth from another star in glory.

Revelations 12

 And the fourth angel sounded, and the third part of the sun was smitten, and the third part of the moon, and the third part of the stars; so as the third part of them was darkened, and the day shone not for a third part of it, and the night likewise.